I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.
Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.
A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"
The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.
The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"
"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
