I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son. We both drank them at the same time, and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What’s the difference between my mom and the twin towers my mom got hit by two cars the twin towers got hit by two planes
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum, joke's on him, I have two dads.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one duct.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
What do you call a pregnant slave. A two for one deal.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex? A microtransaction.
I told an orphan two never stop talking until their parents come home
Now I can’t get it to shut up
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
What has 4 legs and two gloves
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
i can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere, i think you two would be really good friends
If you play FNF I play a game because he has two balls boi
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife.
What has two wheels and goes really fast? A vegetable down a hill
My wifes always nagging me, you dont let me have any friends, i abuse her and im always coming back late, so i thought i would treat her, i popped up in the attick and introduced her to two women.
An handicap and an orphan get into a fight the orphan says at least I have two functional legs the handicap at least two functional parents
One day there were 3 people a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born that is why she was named rose. Then the second child walked up and yelled ahhhhhh and the mom said shutup billy goat.
Why did the Asian parents have a Asian baby
Two songs don't make a white
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other? Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
