Two jokes
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.
Two sentence horror stories go.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.