Turn-on

Turn-on Jokes

Kate:can we have a threesome? Trevor:sure The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing and then he feels something going up his back end he goes to punch the person behind him but then he turns on the let and it was Kate behind him and hes been fucking the guy the whole time.

once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad so his dad said yes then he ask what is that and his dad said it a chow chow train the next day he wanted to shower with his mom so she said yes he ask again what is that and she said it was a tunnel with light the same day he wanted to sleep with them and they said yes in the middle of the night he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in

So a man goes to church is dipped in water 3 times by a Priest as he says, " From now on your name is Michael and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol. " . Soon after the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips it in the water 3 times while saying, " From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol. " .

Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"

One day little Jonny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there so he went in to use it and asked his mom what is that between your legs. His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened but with his dad. He asked his dad what is that between his legs. He said my snake. The same thing happened one more time except with his grandmother. Little Jonny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said my headlights. One night little Jonny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said grandmaw grand maw turn on your head lights daddy snake is trying to get into mommy's bush.

Little Steven has Scared to take a Shower by himself so he Asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!! The next day Stevens mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.