Paddys beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 yrs they have been married . The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help . Being a bit of a cheapo , he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act . After half an hour, still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places . ’ I’ll have a try Paddy , you waft the towel ' Paddy agrees , and after two or three minutes Paddys wife has a moment of sexual pleasure screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years . Paddy taps his mate Mick on teh shoulder and says ‘And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel’ !
An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can’t reach it so she calls her son for help a few minutes later son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- slips and noose chokes her to death
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our bas....t but we threw the babies too hard”.
My favorite thing to do on my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?” “No” “Neither have they”
Stephen Hawking tried comedy. His first line ruined it. ‘You know what I can’t stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can’t stand.’
Did you hear about the tomatoe and the lettuce race? Well the lettuce was a-head and the tomatoe was trying to ketchup
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but i can’t seem to build on it.
Have you ever tried Etheopian food?
Neither have they…
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate
I tried to find a camouflage shirt but I couldn’t find one
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
Ever tried etheopian food? No? Neither have they
Ive been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, bu i couldn’t see any
A hot woman called “Jessie” was showering when the phone rang… Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn’t stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall… Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》 The one on the phone: 《Oh hi i’m Jeff i just wanted to tell you don’t go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you》 Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! this is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! it gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn’t a joke and she cried alot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
Your momma so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
A kid came from school. His mother said “What did you do in school?” The boy replied “I had sex with my my Teacher” She said “OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!” He waited, then his dad walked in and said “Your mother told me what you did. I’m proud of you son. Let’s go buy you a bicycle.” When they arrived to the store The dad said " Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said “I can’t, my butt is sore” Dad said “Why is your butt sore” The Boy said “Because I had sex with my teacher”.
I tried to think of how lighting works.then it struck me.
did you try the digital egg padlock? because it is very easy to crack the code.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies ???
Have you ever tried to clean one ?