What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar
I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life
A child with cancer: I want to be like you when I grow up. Doctor: Oh your not going to grow up.
POV you accidentally get H in your IV drip
One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Doctor : I can't treat you ORPHAN: WHy! Doctor :I'm a family Doctor
my stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemo therapy... atleast he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks... "Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B. Light it up blue 🔵
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.
me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
me explaining the school nurse that ice cant cure everything nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl
What do people with cancer always want to watch
•finding Chemo
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
A: No. She didn’t twitch.
D: I think I saw her finger twitch.
A: Well, even if it did, it’s her thigh the techs are aiming at.
D: She wants to scratch her face.
A: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
D: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
A: She can just let it itch. She doesn’t need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
D: Wow...that cheek is really itchy...
A: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliver’s smile...
D: How about a song?
A: Good idea!
D: How about... “Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down....”🎶
A: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! She’s in the middle of a treatment! You know that’s the only part she knows!
D: That’s okay. She’ll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and....
A: Don’t be so mean!
D: “Never going to give you up...🎶”
A: Stop it!
D: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
A: No, she didn’t.
D: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over....
A: She didn’t screw anything up!
D: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
A: That’s not how it works...
D: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor won’t get enough radiation.
A: They know what they are doing!
D: ...And it won’t shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
A: No! No! No! That’s not how any of this...
D: ...And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
A: Stop this right now!!
D: “Never going to give you up....🎶”
A: Stop!
D: “...never going let you down....🎶”
A: I’m not going to let you...
D: “Never going to give you up...🎶” .
Techs: Okay. That’s it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: ...Oh, I’m fine.....
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform its Chloroform helps with itchy eyes :side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM) AIDS (HIV/AIDS) Alphaviruses. Alzheimer's Disease. Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish) Arboviral Encephalitis. Arthritis. Babesiois.Cancer Unintentional injuries Chronic lower respiratory disease. ... Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases. ... Alzheimer's disease. ... Diabetes. ... Influenza and pneumonia.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down because he couldn't stand the cancer
