Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
the titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off. Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river, she had a gun. When she got out of the river she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
