What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Why were 9/11 victims so mad? The ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
What kinda pizza did the twin towers order? Two plains
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
