Worst Jokes Ever
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Kid amogus backwards.
SUGOMA DIK!
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
I'm as bored as heck, someone want to chat?
Captain of the Titanic: “Where’s all that f***ing water coming from?”
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
The radio is a player—it always gets turned on by lots of different people.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."