Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
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Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
Hitler was a nazi.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.
I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.