Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Dark humor is like a child with cancer...
Never gets old.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Yeet.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
Your nan is gay.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
Your reflection.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.