Worst Jokes Ever

Mom!

Friend: Your life is a joke.

Me: No, jokes have meaning.

And just look up anything that is hot! And don't forget to comment!

The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.

Mom!

You gonna poop someday.

#GOODBYEGWEN

and (DYM 116)

With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

Staring (DYM 119).

at (DYM 120).

Her (DYM 121).

Jugs!

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.