Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.