Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than ants down your pants? Michael Jackson.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Why is Ahmed gay? Because he created 9/11. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaa
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.