Took jokes

God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

What do you call a Japanese car thief?

Tommy took a motor.

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

If George Floyd was in the new Little Mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs I took plenty Now I can’t breathe

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.