Took jokes

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

What do you call a Japanese car thief?

Tommy took a motor.

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."

Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.