Took Jokes

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?

A self-me.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

What do you call a rapper who took a dump?

Lil' Crappie.

God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.

The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.