Tomato's jokes
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
Do NOT buy a tomato EVER again
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"