Toilet jokes
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.
Memes
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Poopies in my undies.
Diarrhea.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Knock knock. Who is there? Poo. Poo who? Hey, I need ta go poooooooooooop!
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"