Toilet Jokes

Only really smart people will get this with out it being explained

Toilet paper fight hat

why was the toilet angry? because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>

Ur forehead so big when u go to the toilet it bends U stooped

Why are orphans always on the toilet? Because they don't have anyone to give him some toilet paper!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Do you see the toilet

My boyfriend and i were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet. All our friends were shocked when i went into the boys bathroom with him.

Why cant orphans go on vacation

The last time they did they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out UgH

Hi, this is a good prank I did. So, my brother LOVES his phone and so..... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, Then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA (Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing) Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A butt saw the toilet and said "Sh#t I'm sick.

me. i broke me but. dad. oh that is bad i will get some pooh in the toilet so i can heal your bum.

Whats so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?cause it got stuck in a pot hole:)

Do I sit broken hearted I came to shit and only farted

A boy was terrible at writing sentences so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences and return to school the next day. When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call so he angrily shouted at the child “Shut up you Donkey!” The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom who assumed that he wanted to play video games so she said “No my dear, tomorrow.” That was his second sentence. For the third sentence he went to his older brother who was watching football where someone scored a goal so he was jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” For the fourth sentence he went to his sister who was singing “Spider-Man Spider-Man!”. For the last sentence he went to his grandmother who was cleaning the toilet and singing “Under the toilet, under the toilet”. He went to school the next day and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, “Shut up you Donkey!” The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, “Do you want me to slap you?” The boy said, “No my dear, tomorrow.” This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately he started jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” The teacher dragged him to the principal’s office as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was to which he replied by singing “ Spider-Man Spider-Man!” She asked him where he lived so he sang “Under the toilet, under the toilet”.

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?

"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."