Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
Only really smart people will get this without it being explained.
Toilet paper fight hat.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Pee.
My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Do I sit broken-hearted?
I came to sh*t and only farted.
Knock knock. Who is there? Poo. Poo who? Hey, I need ta go poooooooooooop!
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!
Toot and poop.
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
Pooooooooooop!
