Watch BNHA season 4 today
Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and i thought i should share with you!! Today i saw myself on TV when i turned it off.
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
hi evyerone my mom got me an ipad today and this is really cool cna someone tell em what decapitation is
Good afternoon. My name is Russell. And I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"
Uranus is up in the sky today
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling so I put a car-pit over it
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning how are you today
Hi how are you today
How long is it
I quit my job at the bank today I lost interest.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
I remember my uncles last words: "I don't think were going shooting today."
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
