Today I Asked My Sis To Take Out The Trash And I Shoved Her Outside
Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
Have a great day today
Hi how are you busy busy today and tomorrow I have to go home from home and walk home walk and a bike walk walk and a bike to school tomorrow night I have to have lunch with my mom and dad and I have dinner with you tonight
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Teacher: We have new student today class, come introduce yourself. Student: my name is Buttitches Teacher: Please tell us your real name. Student: Buttitches. Teacher: I’m calling the police. Police: son please tell me your real name or I’m going to shot you. Student: Buttitches. Police: shots gun... A few days the police goes to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying the mom says my buttitces the police says we’ll scratch it lady
my sister said im stupig todah and shes the on whu wrot dis
YO MAMA'S SO FAT, that I took a picture of her which was last christmas, and it's still printing today
today my toilet paper ran across the road but it got stuck in the crack
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What is your car 🚘 was your time today after I had dinner 🍴 night and night sleep 😴 night is it a night for you and a dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night was the snow ⛄️ I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🥘
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What is the difference between the snow boots on the earth day today after dinner and walk home
What did a tree 🌳 I do for a human rights rights day at a tree 🌳 I had no time today after a night night with you today but you walk away
What is the difference between the human rights act of a home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
I did a walk today but it was so much better and a walk home 🏠 I had dinner 🍴 night was good fun at home 🏡 night was good night night I was a little off but you were so fun to be a night
