Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
Thought Jokes
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
Everyone thought I'd have a great year...
14 years just gave me more chances.
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
