New This Jokes - Page 41 - Worst Jokes Ever

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!

When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

I'm about to say this but.....

*whentheimposterissus*

Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus

Dislike if: - You are horny.

Make this the most liked comment!

(I'm a girl btw)

;)

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

What's a cow's favorite newspaper?

The Daily M0Os.

Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Do you like CDs?

There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."