This jokes
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
I'm about to say this but.....
*whentheimposterissus*
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
Make this the most liked comment!
(I'm a girl btw)
;)
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.