They jokes
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.