They jokes
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
This goes out to my ex no name droppin tho
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."