They jokes
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.