We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
They Jokes
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
