They jokes
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
They don't have anybody to sign the form.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
How does NASA organise a party?
They ‘PLANET’.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"