They jokes
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they steal all of the green cards.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.