They jokes
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Memes
It's even better when they get charged by a 19 yo with a funny boom boom stick
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.