They jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Why can’t orphans drink? Because they don’t have any money.
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."