They jokes
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.