They jokes
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?
Because they have already got 2 towers down.
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.