Thereness jokes

I’m gay because I nutted on the wall, now there are walnuts.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.

Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.

Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I love to smell skunks, but I lick their stinky butt. It's delicious. My breath smells like fart.

Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mustache." "Mustache who?" "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."

Um, please do not swear, there is no need. Could you maybe just find clean jokes?

Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?

He's white on the inside.

He's orange on the outside.

And then there's that stick!

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "A bad joke."

Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.

Why isn't there much honey in Brazil?

Because there's only one B in Brazil.

There is a Mexican sitting on a train.

The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."

The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.

Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yo mama!

Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.

There are sexiest women in politics.

They should be in a car showroom.

A nut told me to eat him, so I did, but something weird happened. I turned into a nut, and when I poop, there were eggs there.

A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,

"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."

Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gun. Gun who?

Why are orphans called orphans?

'Cause they're gay.