Thereness jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
How many letters are there in the alphabet? 26? No, 8!
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Key.
Key who?
Key moo.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ur blue nue hue kuo.
Memes
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who? (HAHAHAHAHAHA)
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.
There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerk.
Jerk who?
This website who!
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.