Thereness jokes
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.