Thereness jokes

Magician

16 views ·

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

Mom

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

Tank

1 view ·

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tank." "Tank who?" "You're welcome!"

Pregnancy

114 views ·

What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"

Grandpa

22 views ·

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

Dad

13 views ·

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Mama

3 views ·

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

Speed Bump

2 views ·

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?