There jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.