Theory jokes
Who is Stephen Hawking?
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Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"