Them jokes
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
What is the best thing about 28 year olds? There are 20 of them!
There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.