The jokes
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.