The jokes

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What do orphans get at restaurants?

The family meal.

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"

Because it doesn't matter your age.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come back with the milk.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"The FBI."

"The FBI who?"

"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?

Once they're gone, they never come back.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?

Because her wheelchair was good.

Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?

A) Cancer.

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.

The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.

Well, that was a blow up!