The jokes
Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and weâll see the first thing that pops up!
Whatâs the LGBTQ national anthem?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Whatâs the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Why donât rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone whoâs always in the booth!