The jokes
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Memes
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.