The jokes
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Memes
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!