The jokes
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
Memes
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.