The jokes

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

What did the bird go to the hospital for?

For tweetment!

Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?

Mom forgot to come back with the milk.

Why do orphans only have 362 days of the year?

... bc they don’t have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.

What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

Why did the duck get arrested?

He tried to quack a safe.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

What country has been the hottest in recent years?

Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.