The jokes
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Yo mama so fat,
she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!