The jokes
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."