The jokes
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
Memes
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.