The jokes

Collaboration

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller.”

Therapist

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

Cannibal

What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?

"5 second rule!"

Feminist

What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?

A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.

Memes

Shadow

Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."

God

I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.

Suicide

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

Stereotype

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

Child

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

Sexuality

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

Coal

What is the difference between Black people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

Girl

What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?

They can’t say no.

People

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

Argument

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.

Banana

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Music

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Mop

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

Comment

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

Case

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.