The jokes
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"