The jokes

Emo

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

Prison

Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

Because the white guy actually did it.

Duck

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

Suicide

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

Memes

Firefighter

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

Heart

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

Tax

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

Food

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

Sex

What is the worst part about siblings having sex?

Being left out.

Foot

Why are women’s feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Slinky

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?

There's no way home.

Leaf

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

Lipstick

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

Orphan

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.