The jokes

Flag

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Son

My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."

Shot

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

Difference

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my face.

Bench

What's the difference between you and a bench?

A bench can hold a family.

Noise

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

Rose

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

Mama

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Orphan

Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?

A: To get to the other side to find his parents.

There was no other side of the road.

Minecraft

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

School Bus

What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?

On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.

Secret

Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!

Cat

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."