The jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
Memes
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
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Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.